Late–as–Usual the Ravena News Herald’s Bryan Rowzee Manages to Continue the Now Habitual Media Pastime: Make Coeymans Ridiculous!
In a first–page top very late report on the town of Coeymans’ most recent success at making itself the clown of local municipalities by passing a resolution renaming the town to Reubenville. Coeyman’s most recently became an Arby’s whore for 5000 coupons allegedly redeemable for the new Arby’s menu item, the Reuben sandwich, more than 600 calories of non-nutrition (see our report Coeymans: Can It Get Any Worse Than This? (March 19, 2013)). Well it can get worse, as we read in Rowzee’s article, which is not news, but an encore performance of our earlier (by more than a week, 10 days, in fact) report.
Rowzee announces that Reubenville residents can pick up coupons for their artery stopper fat ball sandwich at the “Coeymans” town hall…where’s that? Didn’t he just say the place is now Reubenville? As usual, total confusion in Coeymans compounded by misinformation in the Ravena News Herald à la Bryan Lousy…or is it Rowzee?
In the News Herald item, Lousy or Rowzee, whatever his name is reports that residents must bring proof of residency in the town of Coeymans…Reubenville or, in lieu of proof of residency, certification of complete stupidity to receive a coupon from the hands of one of the bozo clowns at Coeymans or Reubenville town hall on April 6.
But Mr Lousy Rowzee fails to ask the burning question: So we’d like to ask the town of Coeymans directly: With only 5000 Arby’s coupons to go around and more than 7,300 residents in the town of Coeymans, how is the town board going to ensure equitable and fair distribution to all residents? First–come–first–serve is hardly a solution. After all, the entire town of Coeymans was affected by the name change and the town of Coeymans board acted on behalf of the entire town of Coeymans by making the name–change proclamation. It stands to reason that the entire town of Coeymans, that is, all residents should benefit without conditions attached. Right?
As I mentioned in my previous article, perhaps supervisor Stephen Flach, being a preacher and all that, could do the loaves and fishes trick with Mr Peter Masti’s venerable assistance. After all, supervisor Flach is a graduate of the obscure Zion Bible College and should have the scriptural knowledge to get the job done. Nah! That’s not likely to work. Better find another way, Steve, Peter.
Question: Will the CEO of Arby’s be there to witness this historic event or will Reubenville town supervisor Stevey the Clown Flach or Bozo “Tommy Boom-Boom” Boehm be handing the coupons out to the salivating porkers that will degrade themselves by showing up to collect their porky prizes? Have your cameras ready…and make sure you have the wide-angle lens or setting ready. Something tells me you’re going to have to catch some double wide shots on April 6.
Dork-reporter Rowzee even gives Arby’s on Wolf Road, Colonie, three (THREE!) paragraphs full of plug for Arby’s and quotes the manager, Michael Pitt, as being “excited” to welcome Rebenville stupids next month…on Wolf Road, in the town of Colonie, 30 minutes north of the Reubenville town hall, that’s 22 miles one way (44 miles round-trip), and $3.88 in gas (one–way; based on 22 m.p.g.; round–trip cost: $7.76) just to pick up your “free” gift (. And that’s not counting the time, travel, and gas you’ll need to get the coupon in the first place! Now that’s really exciting, simpletons of Reubenville!
Question: Did Reubenville town supervisor Stephen Flach or board member Thomas Boehm, Thomas Dolan, Dawn Rogers, or Peter Masti ask Arby’s manager Micheal Pitt when he was going to come to Reubenville to choose a location for an Arby’s? Or do Reubenville residents have to spend at least $7.76 + the price of the sandwich to drive to the town of Colonie every time they get a hankering for an Arby’s Reuben? That’s an example of Steven Flach’s, Thomas Boehm’s, Thomas Dolan’s, Dawn Rogers’ and Peter Masti’s idea of cost-effectiveness in government!
Another question: Did the town board of Colonie, the town in which the Wolf Road Arby’s is located, also offer to rename Colonie, Reubenville? Or did they have the dignity to opt out of the childishness.
Bryan “Bozo” Rowzee reports that the town board member Thomas Boehm “discovered that Arby’s was offering 5,000 coupons to the first city to issue an official proclamation,’ and that the then town of Coeymans (now Reubenville) board, “in a timely move” (how impressive! how strategic!), “issued the proclamation.”
Coeymans town Supervisor Stephen Flach said he was pleased that Coeymans, Reubenville, had won the contest, and Flach “applauded Boehm’s initiative and good humor.” “Applauded?” Flach should have pressed criminal charges for misuse of public office! Abuse of public trust! “Applauded” the dumbass’s “initiative and good humor?” Airheaded fool! Flach and Boehm and the rest of the Coeymans Clowns made a proclamation on February 5, 2013, that the world is right: Coeymans is the Clown Community.
That other idiot Tom Dolan called “the Reubenville Challenge a fun way to put the town on the map.” Mr Dolan has many fun ways of doing that, as we’ve seen in the past. Yes, Tommy, that sure put Coeymans on the map. Duh, yup! Yeah, Tom Dolan even promised to put an original song on Facebook celebrating the “victory.” “Victory?” Is that what we now call it when elected officials make total asses out of their entire community? Victory takes on a whole new meaning now. Really cheap victory.
Oddly enough, shady-shadowy town board member Tom Dolan calls the “Reuben Challenge” a “fun way” to put Coeymmans on the map. Isn’t it ominous that Dolan’s band is called “Shadowland“? Is that the map where we’ll find Coeymans/Reubenville after this “victory” Mr Dolan? A bit late, Mr Dolan, the Coeymans/Reubenville town board and the Ravena village council, under mayor John T. Bruno and his band of pinheads, Bill Bailey, Martin Case, Rocco Persico, and Nancy Warner, have already made this a Shadowland. Look around, Mr Dolan, this is Shadowland.
My advice when you get the munchies: Save yourself the trip and spend your $8-10 at a local shop or diner; that’s what it would cost you to redeem an Arby’s coupon on Wolf Road, Colonie.
Coeymans/Reubenville town board and Supervisor Stephen Flach: Rather than waste residents’ time passing out silly coupons and wasting their money sending them to Wolf Road in Colonie to spend their money, why not just donate the coupons to a food pantry or to a homeless shelter! Wouldn’t that be a nobler, more charitable, more positive gesture that would get Coeymans at least some positive press despite the stupidity of its leaders?
If you agree, dear readers, e-mail Supervisor Stephen Flach or the Coeymans/Reubenville town bard and tell them what you think! Here are their contact e-mails:
Coeymans/Reubenville Town Supervisor
Stephen D. Flach
Before I sign off to do better things today, I would be remiss if I were not to give due recognition to a community-spirited individual, Dallas Trombley, who managed to get a very articulate and honest letter to the editor published in the March 28, 2012, Ravena News Herald. Of course, Bryan “Lousy” Rowzee got the top of page 1 with his rubbish and Mr Trombley got hidden away on page 16, just before the public notices. (For those readers who do not have access to the Ravena News Herald, I am providing a scan of the letter to the editor at: Dallas Trombly on Reubenville. Now it’s out for the world to read.)
Mr Trombley starts out appropriately with : “I hate Reubenville.” So do most people in Coeymans who are endowed with half a brain (obviously that does exclude Mr Stephen Flach, Mr Thomas Boehm, Mr Thomas Dolan, Mr Peter Masti, and Ms Dawn Rogers).
We have no Main Street Plan
but we do have
Mr Trombley writes that he designed a “Main Street Plan” to stimulate activity to make Coeymans more attractive to homeowners and businesses. His plan makes a great deal of sense and does not include the Reuben Challenge, which Mr Trombley calls the “Reubenville farce,” and points out that the “Town has named itself after a cheap product” and sold itself out for “coupons.” Mr Trombley accurately writes that “It is hard to imagine something more degrading.” We agree, Mr Trombley. Well written!
Mr Trombley very pointedly cites the many instances where, instead of adopting healthy alternatives and attractive options, Coeymans, Ravena, New Baltimore tend to opt to become the regions dump or court jester. Mr Trombley cites the plans for cement plants (with their toxic emissions), garbage dumps. He cites the many reports in local media about unhealthy conditions, criminality, villages (Ravena) evicting community libraries.
Very accurately, Mr Trombley notes that all of the negative press and the resulting negative image has real and lasting effects on the community: drop in population (Coeymans has lost 10% of its population, according to the last census!), property values drop, people are unwilling to move to the area, businesses avoid the area. Trombley gives the examples of Athens, Bethlehem, and Coxsackie and how they’ve experienced an economic boom in recent years.
Property values are affected by perception of the community by outsiders, when population drops so do opportunities for businesses, when businesses fail, the tax burden shifts to those who are left.
I’ll close with a quote from Mr Trombley’s letter:
“I’m saying that it is in your economic interest to avoid negative perceptions of this town. For everyone else, who for reasons not just economic, but perhaps nostalgic-or perhaps because you’d like to. have more things to do around here, or because you would like your kids. to stick around – you,too,should be angry that our elected officials do nothing to improve this community,but name the town after a sandwich.”
I agree! (You can read the full text of Mr Trombley’s letter to the editor by clicking this link: Dallas Trombly on Reubenville)
[Mr Trombley, please send us your Main Street Plan to RCS Confidential.]
From the Editor: Our Next Article Will Discuss Suggestions for Economic Development and Accountable Business Practices in Local Government. Stay Tuned!